Zen Selekta: Conquering the Mind-Killer and the Spice of Creativity

Nicole (00:00.3)
Basically, the biggest breakthrough came when I was just like, the pain of not expressing and the pain of not doing my art outweighed the pain of like my fears and my self doubts and everything that was holding me back. And it just came to the point where I was just like, this is my life work. I have got to push past this. Like I will never forgive myself if I’m on my deathbed and I haven’t to the best of my ability tried to pull out my authentic expression.

Even knowing that and going through what I was going through, it’s hard to just flip a switch. It wasn’t like one moment where I was like, okay, I’m good now. It was a combination of my mindful practices like meditation, like journaling, spending time in nature, exercise. That’s almost number one. Reading, listening to podcasts. It was a slow thing, so.

Jesse Brede (00:57.698)
Welcome back to another episode of a path unfolding. My guest today is Nicole Gracia Barton, also known as Zen Selector. Nicole, welcome to the podcast.

Nicole
Thank you so much. Yeah.

Jesse Brede
How did How did I say it? Is it good?

Nicole
You said Gracia perfectly. You did, think I said at least say Zen selector instead of selekta.

Jesse Brede
We got that right. Okay. Well, we’ll get it right. There we go. well, Hey, yeah, welcome. I’ve been really excited to have you on the podcast. Like I’ve seen you play and got to stage manage you twice now. Once at lightning in a bottle a couple of years back. And then just recently at the Texas eclipse festival. And you have like really captured, my attention and been like, wow, what a performer, what a great show, what a performance and.

I just want to say like, what, you know, that is, it really drew me in and the more I’ve learned about you, just think you’re an amazing, performer and DJ. love your selection. Obviously you’re living, you’re select that you’re living up to it. So, yeah, I wanted to have you on and tell your story. yeah, let’s, let’s dive in, set the table. Tell me a little bit how you got into music and how that whole journey started for you.

Nicole
Yeah. I mean, it started when I was really young, I guess, like the earliest memory.

I have is just being like elementary school, just obsessed with music and like, that’s kind of like when I have like my earliest memory of like, this is what I’m supposed to do, but I didn’t really know what it meant because I was so young. I remember like watching Hannah Montana on TV and like, I felt like this feeling within me, like, oh my gosh, like, I feel like that’s what I’m supposed to do. Like, I’m supposed to be a performer, but like I was so young and I’m like,

man, that just sounds so far-fetched and like, oh wouldn’t everyone want to be a rock star? So I just thought like, I chalked up that feeling to like, oh like everybody wants to be a rock star, you know, but that’s kind of like the earliest recollection I have of, you know, just my thoughts about getting into the music. But then I found electronic music a little later down, like, well, in middle school. So I was like a teen.

Nicole (03:20.145)
And I was like, whoa, like I love this. I tried singing when I was younger and I do have a voice, but for some reason it just wasn’t like, I wanna sing. But once I found electronic music, I just became so obsessed. I mean, remember being 12, 13 and I was looking at footage from Tomorrow World and festivals and.

My sister’s six years older than me. like, she was already going to these events, showing me this music. I remember she gave me like a glove, like a light show. Yeah. I was like 12 and in the bathroom to like Fluff’s Pavilion. And I was like, whoa, you know? So it just like, I don’t know. And that’s when it kind of started boiling within me. was like, I think like I could be a really good DJ. Like I love this music. I’m obsessed with this. So.

I just started really collecting music at that point. I would spend lots of time on LimeWire, just illegally downloading music and that kind of went through into high school. And then in high school, I did kind of find this niche, this style of dubstep that I liked to play, even though I love all genres.

But then I was like, okay, this is really like my niche. Like I really like this, this particular style. But I don’t know, I was still in high school. I was involved in sports. So I didn’t really get my start till after I graduated high school. And yeah, and even through high school, I still thought it was a little bit of a far-fetched idea, you know? But I don’t know. I started on like my spiritual.

path in high school and I started to develop a new way of thinking like, no, like this isn’t far fetched. Like if you put your energy and time into something, like it will come to fruition. And then I graduated high school and I was like, this is what I’m doing. Just super stubborn, you know, I’m going for it. Definitely scared my parents a little bit.

Nicole(05:42.928)
yeah, sorry if that was long winded.

Jesse Brede
No, it’s great. No, I guess I have two questions. What sports did you play?

Nicole
What sports didn’t I play? yeah, yeah. So like swimming when I was really young for years, tennis, soccer, track and field, cross country. I think that, I think that’s it. Yeah.

Jesse Brede
Did any of that crossover into sort of the work ethic or the training or the learning of music?

Nicole
You know, good point because I have never actually thought about that. I’ve actually in the past beat myself up about not having gotten started earlier because I meet a lot of people that have like, I’ve been producing, you know, whatever, playing an instrument since they were super young. it used to kill me. used to

So like, it used to be like a regret, like, can’t believe I didn’t get started earlier, but now that you say that. You know, like sports definitely had a lot to do with, you know, building mental strength and, discipline and working hard, all things that definitely translate into, you know, working on a craft, honing your craft. so yeah, definitely

Jesse Brede
love that. Yeah. Yeah.
And then you mentioned your spiritual path. What did that look like?

Nicole
Well, I would say it started probably, I was probably like 15 or so when I started meditating. I remember I was just going through the teen thing, you know, like, I was actually a little, I was like on the brink of feeling kind of depressed. Like I was just dealing with like a lot, you know, like school.

just being a teenager and like managing all of this. And I remember just thinking, was like, yo, I gotta do something. Cause like my mental health is suffering right now. And I was like looking online and it was like, try meditating. I remember the first time I meditated, I mean, it was like, I found like a whole new world. And it’s like, I really connected to something deeper. I was able to just,

Nicole (08:02.702)
I don’t know, yeah, like heal and I immediately felt better like after that first session and then I went down the rabbit hole. I’m like, what is this? What is this that I just connected to? I was actually, I was actually atheist as like a young middle school, as a young kid. Like I, you know, I grew up Christian. I even did the communion and then like I became a young teen and I was like, I don’t believe in anything, you know.

And then, yeah. And then things changed. I was like, no, for me, you know, I’m like, there’s definitely something more. and it lives and resides within us. And I think that first time that I meditated, so the first time I connected to that and it just felt so profound. And that is what kickstarted my spiritual journey and awareness.
Jesse Brede
Yeah. I was going to, I was actually going to say the other thing about the sports is like watching you play your. It sounds interesting. It’s like, you’re very physical. You’re very, like, you’re very connected musically to physically what’s happening in your body. And you’re like, you’re illustrating the sound with your, your dance moves and your efforts. And it’s like, I think that goes back to the spirituality. seems like you seem like you’re very open. You’re very in tune with what’s happening both inside of yourself, but also, you know, externally. So it seems to make sense. So are you, have you been meditating for?

ever since then or very regularly?

Nicole
Yeah, you know, I would like to be more disciplined with it if I’m being completely honest. But yes, I have meditated off and on ever since then. 100 % is a practice that I rely on. And, you know, I do think I could get better at it and make sure I’m doing it every day. But yeah.

Jesse Brede
That makes sense. Yeah. Same here. mean, I think we’re all, we’re all being honest. Like you’re going to go through those times where life gets busy and that’s just not the thing. I think it’s, it’s a tool. when life gets crazy or you’re just swimming in your own thoughts, right? You’re like, okay, I know how to get back to my breath. I know how to get quiet. I mean, I know how to let the muck settle in the brain and go. so is this how you came up with the, your moniker Zen selekta? Yeah. I mean,

Nicole (10:23.92)
Basically, because you know, as through learning about spirituality, you know, I ended up learning about, you know, Zen Buddhism and I mean, there’s many different, you know, religions that I am interested in, even though I am not like dedicated to a specific religion, I just like pull what I like from each, you know, all of the teachings and you know, I really like Zen teachings in particular and

was very inspired by that and you know, I did also feel like a calling that my purpose through making music and being an artist could be to help others.

Nicole (11:12.464)
Yeah, just help others with their mental health and if they want to be on a spiritual journey. But I really wanted to share what I learned because it’s so much elevated my quality of life that I wanted that for everybody else. And so I just thought what better way to live out my passion and weave in this purpose.

into my project. And so, yeah, I was just Zen at first for like a year. I was just Zen. And then I was like, okay, thinking about the business aspect of things, like there needs to be more, because yeah, I mean, you just, you Google Zen and a bunch of like meditation spots come up, you know, and like, right, right. So, so yeah, I was just Zen at first and then later came to selekta, yeah.

Jesse Brede
That’s interesting. So when you. when you got, were you living in Atlanta at that time? Is that where you grew up?

Nicole
Yes. So I actually was born and raised in Atlanta. A little bit outside actually. It’s called Gwinnett County, 45 minutes northeast of the heart of Atlanta, which is where I grew up. So yeah, at that point I was still there. yeah, guess I did get started then, the last year.

Jesse Brede
Nice. So yeah, so then.

Let’s kind of fast forward a little bit. You’re DJing for a few years. Things start to pick up. When, when did you start to kind of get, know, break out of that local scene? How was it like for you there?

Nicole
Kind of starting to travel and get bookings. mean, yeah, that was crazy. I mean, I guess just, yeah. So I got into the local scene just by going to shows and networking, you know,

becoming familiar with promoters and they gave me a chance. And then I think I remember, yeah, one of my first like out of state bookings, they started happening in North Carolina. And I guess, you know, I mean, I made sure to promote myself online, which I think is how promoters heard of me. but that was crazy. That was a crazy moment. mean, your first out of state gig is like, holy shit. Like, yes.

Jesse Brede (13:33.688)
Now we’re now you’ve definitely like, I think kind of mastered your craft of DJing here. Like I said, your stage presence is phenomenal. And then in my homework, I saw you released your debut EP, which is Iki guy. So that must’ve been a big, a big moment to kind of now you can say like I’ve released an EP and, kind of putting out your own musical production. Tell me, tell me more about that.

Nicole
My first EP was one of the biggest breakthroughs of my career mentally, spiritually. Because yeah, there was a time when I first got started with my project, I kind of had beginner’s mind, know? Just kind of blissfully unaware of the intricacies of the industry and blissfully unaware of music making rules and like…

how you really need to… I mean, rules are meant to be broken, but I just mean that…
I was just creating more freely, I guess.

I guess then through my journey, like you just learn more about like what’s correct when you’re making music, like how you should be doing things and like what you need to do in order to sound good. just like realizing all these things, like make you realize like how long you have to go. At some point in my career, I fell into a bit of a mental rut, you know, just kind of.

Nicole (15:14.384)
in a bit of a cycle of doubting myself and having fear and comparing myself to others and I was super stagnant and yeah, sometimes it would even prevent me from showing up and trying to express and create art, which it was horrible. But that EP was kind of like the breakthrough of that. I finally like

Pushed through that and I completed a work of art, you know, which I felt like was long overdue, but we’re all in our own paths with their own divine timing. but yeah, and I’m super happy with how, with how it came out. You know, I’m more, I’m more excited about my, my upcoming works that I have, but like, that was a super important moment in my career. And yeah, I’m really.

I hold it dear in my heart.

Jesse Brede
Yeah. I mean, there’s, there’s a lot there. want to dig into is like, Yeah. I’ve been, you said, we’re all on our own path. There’s this like imposter syndrome, no matter what you do. I mean, straight up for this podcast, I’ve dealt with that. I had a version of this already, you know, 1.0 recorded six episodes, looked at it, was like, you know what? This is not the way I want this to be. And I put it to a side and I had to really.

think about it and iterate on it and go like, what am I trying to do here? like, sometimes you have to start and fail and not be good and be like, this is bad. I’m going to have to get better. I’m going to have to work through those issues. like, so yeah, tell me more about like, where do you think those breakthroughs came from? Or what were some of just the key turning points where you were like, okay, like, you know, it may not be the masterpiece of my, all masterpieces, but I’m going to keep going.

Nicole
Right, yeah I do think I suffered a bit from perfectionism and just like not wanting to suck but like truly when you get started like at something like you’re just gonna have to not be… it just sucks to suck you know and you gotta you gotta push through it and like but even even those works then

Nicole (17:37.456)
like they’re still gonna resonate with someone and that’s still your authentic expression and like just basically the biggest breakthrough came when i was just like the pain of not expressing and the pain of not doing my art outweighed the pain of like my fears and my self-doubts and everything that was holding me back and it just came to the point where i was just like dude this is my life work like

I have got to push past this. Like I will never forgive myself if I’m on my deathbed and I haven’t to the best of my ability tried to pull out my authentic expression. And you know, but even even knowing that and going through I was going through it’s hard to just flip a switch. And I would say it wasn’t like it wasn’t like one moment where I was like, okay, I’m good now. Like it’s honestly

This, this experience lasted a few years and it was a combination of my mindful practices like meditation, like journaling, spending time in nature where you’re just kind of, just, just you in nature, like no distractions. Just, it’s a good time to process things and let go. So doing things like that exercise.

That’s almost number one. Just some form of movement was like really key in my mental health and healing myself. So yeah, I would say it was a combination of all of those things and reading tons of books and listening to podcasts. Love it. Yeah. Advice from other artists.

It was a slow thing. So,

Jesse Brede
so then the aptly named icky guy of what you love, what the world needs, what you can be paid for, what you’re good at finding your passion, mission, vocation and profession, which is, I mean, I would say, you know, in, in a self fulfillment sense, like our life’s work, our mission is to find that thing in order to keep chipping away at it. And, and it may change from chapter to chapter of your life.

Jesse Brede (20:06.456)
I think that’s one it’s it also kind of throws back to the Japanese Zen selekta vibes. Yeah, I mean, was that something that you discovered? You feel like that? You know, are you really happy with the name?

Nicole
yeah. So I guess so it does tie in with the Zen and I am very, you know, inspired by Japanese cultures and Zen. But yeah, I think

I was, I actually read the book, Ikegai. There is a book. I recommend it. And right around the time that I was like writing the music, I had no idea what to call my EP. And I was just like, well, like this is my Ikegai. And like in the book, it talks about like the blue zones of the world. Like, right, right. Like the people that have lived the longest and they talk about like what they do.

every day and like their Ikegai being one of them like they even people in retirement are still practicing their Ikegai so it’s like part of the thing of longevity so I think I just really you know I’m in a healthy way I think obsessed with this idea of being the best version of you that you can be living the best possible life that you can and I was very inspired by that concept and

I think that’s why I decided to call it that. The entire EP doesn’t necessarily follow the Ikegai theme, but I just really liked what it represented. At the time though, it does tie in with Zen. I was taking a liking to Asian themes, even artwork.

teachings like for my branding, but I’ve actually moved away from that because I’ll still be Zen selekta, but I’m just, not Asian. so like recently this year I’ve become like kind of use my like authentic heritage, my Spanish heritage and try to like use that more in, in the way I present like my art in branding, because I just feel it’s more authentic to me.

Nicole (22:27.604)
however, I still, I still am very inspired by it.

Jesse Brede
I mean, we’ve been with Gravitas when we’ve been releasing, you know, quote unquote world music, it’s started to ask some more questions. Does this producer really understand the roots of where this is coming from? I think it’s amazing to let the world inspire you and reflect that back and pull it in and, project it back. I think that’s smart of you. And I totally understand where you’re coming from. So for sure.

Well, so that was a big milestone. then you’ve had a big, know, 2023, 2024. feel like your books and bookings have really leveled up. Your name is leveled up. I people are seeing you giving your, know, giving you your flowers and what you need, you know, what you deserve for all of your hard work and, sort of leading the scene in a really cool way. I mean, I think I would be remiss to say like, you’re a woman on stage and for a very long time.

in electronic music and beyond. There’s not been enough women and I’ve been a bit of people of color and I’ve been people of different sexual orientations. I think we’re starting to fix some of that. You I had a big role in CloZee’s career and her come up and we saw like how much she was able to inspire people. So I’m really glad, glad to see you doing that. And in the same breath, you’re talented in your own, right? There’s no, you’re not, nobody’s handing you anything. You’re earning this and it’s great. And so like that, that is super cool to see.

the diversification of the stage, the proper representation of people on stage so that we can really hear all voices and see it in the world reflected back to us through the artists that are producing the art and say, it kind of ties into the conversation of that, quote unquote, cultural appropriation and who’s bringing what to the table. So I’m really excited to see you taking the lead. with that, you’ve got this new EP in the works. Tell me.

What are you calling it? Why are you calling it that? And tell me what you got going on there.

Nicole
Yeah, I’m really excited. It’s called the Mindkiller EP. Basically, I started writing it at the top of this year. I knew that this year one of my goals was to complete another EP, but it wasn’t like I’m writing a self-mastery EP. It just sort of happened that way.

Nicole (24:50.542)
the whole EP is kind of-

is kind of like the stages of my self-mastery. And so it is a four-track EP and yeah, I think like I’ve really gotten a good headspace about creating at the top of this year. And I was just, but still like, you know, dealing with a little bit of like my past mental struggles, but you know, a lot better. And the first track is titled Focus.

I hope you don’t mind that I just kind of tell you a little bit about each track.

Jesse Brede
Let’s go. Let’s go.

Nicole
Cool. Yeah. So focus kind of like the first stage in my self mastery. Like it opens with a meditation script. It tells you to focus on your breath and arrive to the present moment. which is step one in creating. You need to be fully present.

You can’t be anxious about what’s going to happen in this session or upset about past sessions. You need to be arrived here.

And yeah, so that’s kind of how that track was birthed. I was, yeah, like you, you’re in the flow state, which is kind of what I needed to hone in on. and yeah, so that’s what that track is like. And yeah, definitely. Love it. Thank you. so yeah, it is like, starts a little slower, but like, it’s got a cool baseline. And then the mind killer.

Nicole (26:37.668)
The title track is the second track and that one was born shortly after I watched my favorite film of all time. Dune two. Have you seen it?

Jesse Brede
yeah. I’m a huge Dune fan. I’m actually reading the like second book in the series. Messiah. Yeah, I’m a huge fan and the David Lynch film is just banana weird pancakes. And this, these remakes are, I think, you know, some of the best movies being made in our generation right now. So.

100 % Yeah.

Nicole
I yeah, I mean, it’s my favorite film. So yeah, I was super inspired after watching that. And there’s the one scene where Lady Jessica, even in doing one she’s it’s like her thing. She’s like, I must not fear fear is the mind killer. You know, and I was like, dang, that hit deep. You know, cuz

my fears and my self-doubts were definitely like killing my mind. They were preventing me from showing up. They were preventing me from being present and creating authentically. So the song itself is kind of you know, confrontational. And so like, I kind of picked a more like aggressive sound palette, a little bit more of a dark sound palette. It’s like, I’m…

kind of like facing these limitations that I put on myself. yeah, so there’s actually a sample that I found on freesound.org of someone saying, I must not fear fears that might kill her. So that’s sampled in there. And yeah, I kind of picked like also a sound palette that I think really like the sound palette was a hundred percent inspired by Dune. And of course, like what I was going through.

but it’s like even like the sounds of like the spice harvesting machines, like there’s kind of like stuff like that and like desert kind of atmosphere. Yeah, I love that one. I’ve gotten probably some of the best feedback on that one out of like all the trucks with the people I’ve shared it with. And then the third track is called Break Free, which, you know, I’m sure, yeah.

Nicole (29:00.024)
The next step is, you know, I’ve broken free of these limitations that I put on my mind and holy shit, it feels so good. And so there is kind of like this tension and release with the song, you know, like I feel like the drop is like a big release of tension and like, there’s like this vocal sample. It’s like, feel so free, you know, and they, it’s just, it, to me, the song is kind of like,

euphoric and it’s like it just really encapsulates that feeling of yeah breaking free so and then the fourth track this one i didn’t even finish till recently but i really wanted this one to be like okay i’ve broken free and now i’m living in it like and i’m stoked and now i just want to

I’m excited. I want to create every day. And that’s the mindset that I was in when I wrote this fourth track. I was just like, I’m so happy. Like I’m finally just like excited to show up and create from an authentic place. And I’m so stoked. So like, I wanted to bring the energy, wanted it to be like euphoric. And I ended up writing a drum and bass tune. It’s the first drum and bass tune I’ve ever written.

And yeah, it’s definitely got like this energy and and I did find all of the songs have female vocal samples and I didn’t really do that super intentionally. I will say like maybe by the fourth song I was like, okay, I think I should just keep that theme. I think it’ll sound good. And I, the vocal sample is like

says, I’ve been running away all my life, trying to pick up the pace and feel alive. And that resonated with me. It’s just a splice vocal, but it’s really beautiful. you know, I felt like I was running away from my talents my whole life. Now I’m not, and I’m ready to pick up the pace, pedal to the metal. I’m ready to like manifest all my ideas, like let’s go, you know, and let’s go and let’s go fast. Yeah. So.

Jesse Brede (31:19.792)
What is the title of that fourth track? feel alive.

Nicole
Sorry. Yeah. So I’m, yeah, I feel, I feel alive and like, yeah, it’s definitely like the space that I’m in right now.

Jesse Brede
I am super stoked on this idea. I want to dig in a little bit more. One thing that, that I think we should note is that there’s a, there’s really strong personal deep.

Internal themes that you’re expressing with your music and as a label owner as someone that gets demos that is asked to give feedback to people I’m like tell me your story. Let me feel something like get vulnerable get real like I want to be moved I want to be I want to feel you express like we all have these internal fears and struggles and joys and wins and Music helps us bring that to the surface and really tap into that energy and those

those emotions and feel them more deeply. And that is the spice of life. Like that is what makes us feel alive is these emotions, whether it’s bad or good, the deeper you feel the sadness and the happiness, like just widens the breadth of your total experience. like, so, and music is such a powerful tool for that. And you know that, and like you’re tapping into your and digging, you know, your feelings and you’re really digging deep and going like, I really gotta go deep inside of myself and really express this.

And what we know is that when you do that, other people are going to feel that on the other side. Huge, huge, huge deal. And that is a massive, massive artistic breakthrough because when we’re early on in our journeys as artists or whatever creators, all we really kind of know to do is like mimic other people and sort of copy and learn from them as we master our craft. But once you start to master the craft, then the challenge is really to

totally express yourself and what you truly feel. And that’s a whole nother hard challenging journey to be like, okay, now I can write, but what do I write? And why do I write it? I was like, shit, it’s gonna get real now.

NIcole
Hey, really, really well said. You know, through this journey of self mastery, like it’s been the life of a creator is really self exploration, you know, like it’s

Nicole (33:44.87)
definitely you’re going to face parts of yourself. didn’t know we’re there and it’s a very spiritual practice itself, the making of music of any art and you have to dig deep and that’s the best way to do it. Because like you said, then you’re going to connect with other people because they feel that and maybe they relate with it. So,

Jesse Brede
wow. Wow. That’s so really well said.

I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for doing the work because it’s not easy. It’s easy to distract yourself. It’s easy to come up with excuses. It’s easy to say, I’m not good enough or this isn’t worth it or nobody cares or it won’t matter or there’s too much music being made, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck all that. Fuck all that. Do it for yourself. And on the other side is this like really cool rainbow of like, yeah, know, connection and community and, and,

You know, Yeah. Wonderful. Wow. Cool. So, yeah. So that’s, that’s exciting. When, when is that dropping? When’s that coming out?

Nicole
So there’s not an exact date yet. I’m going to be submitting it to a label and fingers crossed. Cause it’s like someone’s label that I’ve looked up to for a while. You know, I don’t really want to like name drop right now, but you know, just like fingers crossed, but I have definitely, you know,

other options, that doesn’t work out. But yeah, I think I want to find a home for this one. I’ve always self-released my music and I do think that it could be a good move just to potentially expose my music to another fan base. I mean, I definitely see the power in self-releasing.

But I do still think label releases can be helpful and you know, there’s a time for both. And I do think I want to get this one a label release. So, you know, the thing is that labels have their schedules and stuff. So, I want to get it out soon though, because this is just an expression that I want to go ahead and put out. So I’m already moving on to like my next, you know,

Nicole (36:01.946)
Project of course, but like I really wanted to just be out there Because it’s like sometimes the longer you sit on a work as an artist like it can maybe Start to not resonate as much because you should changing and evolving so much as an artist I mean, I know this will always be authentic to me. But like I just want to Release it sooner than

Jesse Brede
I hear you. I’d love to hear about your creative process like when you’re getting in the studio or you’re getting in

early in the morning or the afternoon or whenever do you have sort of a warmup routine? Are you starting like making a certain tea or doing some yoga before? Like, do you have any sort of routines or things that get you primed to do your best work?
Nicole
Yeah. well this year has been, kind of a journey in figuring that out because just this year I started doing music full time. So I’ve had to learn how to be a full time creator and

And it’s, there’s been a lot of trials, like trial and error this year. Like I’ve tried waking up earlier. I’ve tried, you know, like different, I’ve experimented with doing my creative work at different parts of the days. And like, I’ve really had to experiment with my schedule. Yeah. So, I mean, this is pretty fresh because like that just happened in January and

I would say, like overall, I need to hit one of my mindfulness practices. So like either meditate, journal, do a nature walk, or even listen to like a grounding sort of podcast. So get my mind right, 100%. And exercising helps with that a lot. I exercise every day. So I move my body in one way or another every day.

Right now, I’ve been actually doing a little bit more of my work like kind of earlier in the afternoon and like doing like an evening workout, splitting up my work day and then getting back into my creative work after that. Just because it’s been really beneficial to like start my day by like getting a hard task done instead of like going through like this like

Nicole (38:27.64)
Working out and then making lunch and then showering and doing a spiritual practice and then getting into my work. Yeah. It, I find sometimes I was a little drained by the time I got down to doing my, you know, creative work. So yeah. I, my mornings typically look like me making a matcha latte.

or a coffee and it just depends on my mood. Matcha latte is a little more zen and when I need a little more kick in the ass, I go for the coffee. And then I’ll typically hate at this point like one of my spiritual practices. So, you know, reading can be spiritual. I named them for you. I’ll do one of those and then I’ll get into my work. Then I’ll kind of take that like evening break where I exercise, which is

great. I can kind of work out whatever was bothering me maybe in what had happened earlier in my day. then I arrived for maybe like my second session or like work, deep work of the day. Definitely feeling the endorphins are flowing. I’m definitely in a lot more clear state of mind after I’ve exercised. But yeah, that’s kind of what my…

what my day, day to day looks like preparing for the studio.

Jesse Brede
Once you’re actually sitting down in the chair, you know, and we just talked about your EP and these themes. Do you, are you thinking, let’s just say, Hey, you’re, you’re looking at the blank page, so to speak. You’re kind of, are you more thinking like, okay, what do I actually want to write about? Or do you start to experiment with some sounds and then those sounds might key off.

like, okay, I can take it in this direction. Or this makes sense like that or a little bit of both.

Nicole
I go to my inspiration island in my head. And I’m like, Okay, you know, what am I feeling inspired by today? Like maybe today, I’m inspired by my trip from last week, you know, where I played here, and I saw this or an

Nicole (40:45.91)
or I felt this from the crowd, or I heard another artist play this sample and I got inspired by that music. So I just go to my inspiration island. I’m like, yeah, sometimes the inspiration is what I’m going through in my life. Sometimes it’s something I’ve absorbed, whether it be a book, a conversation, an experience in my travels. But it’s always going to start there.

And yeah, then from there, that’s when I’m going to start thinking, well, once I have the idea of inspiration, and by the way, never wait for inspiration to come to you because then it may never come. And that was, yeah, that was a, that was a lesson I had to learn because there was a time where I was like, I’m not feeling inspired. Like, no, like you.

you make it happen or it comes sometimes it even comes if i go to my inspiration island i don’t find anything if i just kind of get tinkering like ideas will come you just need to show up but yeah then i’ll just start experimenting with the sonic palette like for the mind killer like i knew the sonic

I needed to create that style of track, you know, inspired by Dune and this, like, what I was going through. So yeah, then the Sonic palette comes and yeah, I mean, I find that laying down drums and bass is very foundational for the track and I can kind of bang out a track a lot easier when I do set down the drums and the bassline first. However,

That’s not always how it works. Sometimes I’m finding inspiration from a vocal sample or a melodic, but, yeah. And then from there, you just start the composition process and, yeah, experimenting. Makes

Jesse Brede
sense. as someone who started as a DJ first, something kind of leveling up your productions and having played a lot of sets and so you sort of know.

Jesse Brede (42:55.246)
How often are you writing for the stage versus sort of writing for not necessarily the streaming, like, like what’s, what’s your, what’s your take on that? Like, or, or, or some DJs are like, you know what? I have a gap here. I really wish I had a song that was at this BPM or this transition thing. Ahee is like a master of this thing where he’s just like making these insane edits to go from this BPM to this. Yeah. He is a wizard. Literally. think he is.

So that’s funny. That’s awesome. you, how often are you making songs sort of for your DJ sets versus kind of thinking about it as like just writing for writing music?

Nicole
I would say more often than not, especially, know, recently with kind of getting out of my own head, I needed to make sure that I was writing just for myself and from a point of authenticity. However,

I did also this year kind of come into music making with an intention of I want to make music that’s danceable. Like, because I love to dance and I feel like there is a point where maybe some of the music I was making was just a little too meditational and chilled out, which is great, but for a live setting, I wanted to play more of my music in my sets that I could really dance to.

add to the energy in the room and work in a club, you know. So, you know, I’d say I’m always producing from, you know, a point of what I want to write, but there are intentions sometimes of, like I want to make something people can dance to. And just recently, like with one of my songs, like this drum and bass song, like I was thinking of a way I could make it more like DJable, you know? Sure.

right. Like kind of creating like a break in between the two drops or like nothing. I think that’s too insane. Like to, to mix in to a set. Like that is important because you also, you want people to play out your music. But, I would say, you know, I think a healthy dose of both is, is kind of about where I’m at, but I look forward to now that I’m in a very healthy headspace.

Nicole (45:15.385)
for creating, look forward to taking this all away. And maybe some days, maybe someday soon, like I’ll be like, I need a track for this, just for this live setting purpose and I’ll execute it and it’ll be authentic to me. yeah.

Jesse Brede
You mentioned you love to dance and I talked about earlier, like watching you perform is just a full on experience. How has that stage performance evolved or have you?

You know, from day one, were you just a maniac up there or yes. Okay.

Nicole
It was worse, honestly. Like, yeah. Well, okay. Yeah. I’ve always gone. Berserk on stage. but like even before then, like just as an, an attendee, at these shows, like I was always the one like going crazy in the crowd. just love.

I love to dance. love to express myself through movement. It might have something to do with how I was raised because my mom is a dancer. She’s been a dancer her whole life. She’s Spanish. So it’s very much a part of my culture. I grew up in a house where like no one was afraid to dance. know, some people are a little more shy about it, but like, no, not my, not my family. and so yeah, when I get up there,

I just, the music just moves through me and I love to express myself that way. It’s also a bit of like a bit of a release because like I do deal with some anxiety and like I just care so much about my craft that like I’ll be working on my sets till the last minute. Like just like tinkering like, like how can I make it better? Like I just like, I care so much. Like I want it, whatever.

keep practicing. it’s like, finally when I’m on stage, it’s just like, I let loose like everything that I’ve been working on, like, and like practicing, like, rehearsing, like, I’m just able to finally release this energy that was maybe built up. And yeah, I also feel like when the crowd sees you,

Nicole (47:42.647)
like authentically, like just being authentic and like losing yourself to the music on stage. Like they also get that permission to do that. And then it just creates this like amazing energy exchange. Like I learned that like early on in my career is like, we love, like we love when you, you know, flip your hair, like we love your energy. And I was just like, okay. And like, I have noticed that when I go,

Like I’ll go hard and then everybody else starts going harder and like, it’s just, it’s, it’s awesome. It’s a great way to connect even further with your audience. And, yeah, like, through doing all of these shows, like I’ve also just learned how to level up the stage presence and like what, what things go good in certain

parts of the set, like maybe like a break where you talk to the audience or you come out in front of the stage and like interact with them. Like I’ve learned a lot. And, I think it’s really important to be able to command a stage and like stage presence is huge. and I’m just really thankful that it’s something that comes naturally to me.

Jesse Brede
Yeah. I mean, you, you’re a conductor. mean, the DJ, the performer is the conductor and

especially for electronic music, it’s like the, the audience is queuing off of you. And if we’re doing like deep melodic tech house and in a dark club, then maybe we all just want to nod our head, but with that heavy bass sound, I think people want to, they want to get into it. And so I think you’re very much showing the, the let’s do this. And like you said, it kind of gives people remission. think that’s

I think that’s incredibly important. think a lot of performers maybe sometimes overlook that facet of the performance. Like obviously the music is paramount and the lighting and the video, but your energy, you’re the like energy source of all that’s happening right there is like, it’s a really powerful full unlock when you can give yourself permission to just go full. Fuck. Yeah.

Jesse Brede (50:02.991)
that’s giving everyone else permission. And then like you said, when they’re giving that energy back, all of a sudden you’re like, yeah, I’m with it. want to, I want to like, if you had to describe what your head space was, like where you go or like when you’re done with the set or you’re like, wow, is it over already? Like this was, that was great. Like what happened? I would, I went to another place. Like, did we, did you all come with me? Yes. Like, yeah.

Nicole
Well, I’ve always said.

to myself, I guess. The stage just feels like home to me. I just, I feel right at home. Like, this is my, my, my dojo. Like, so I guess my head space when I’m in it, I mean, I’m fully present. I’m fully immersed into what I’m doing. It’s a euphoric feeling because I have worked so hard on my craft and you know.

to have the opportunity to share it with people and conduct this space is an honor and a privilege. And I mean, I guess sometimes, you know, I’m thinking about the crowd reaction like as well. And you know, you do have to be able to adapt. So it’s not like I like block everything out, but you know, like, yeah, I’m just, I’m in a really happy place and

I guess that’s, that’s my head space.

Jesse Brede
Great. Easy. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I mean, it’s, it’s fun to watch. I’ll, I’ll leave it at that. I encourage everybody else. Yeah. Yeah. And I think you mentioned your Spanish and it was kind of like one of the things I want to hit on, like that, that upbringing and that, you know, lack of reservation, know, think that

You know, different cultures are more constrained and more reserved and maybe like, I’m, need to be quiet. Like in Japan, like you’re on the subway, it’s dead quiet and nobody gets in your space versus America. Different versions of that is like, blah, blah, blah, know, loud and obnoxious. So it’s, it seems like that did really have a effect. Like, do you, what do you, do attribute anything else to that cultural upbringing and kind of.

Jesse Brede (52:25.985)
Any of any of your other flavors and styles?

Nicole
Yeah. Well, I love that you brought that up. You’ve been bringing up a bunch of points actually within my own life that I haven’t even thought about. But yeah, I mean, I definitely feel like my Spanish culture definitely has to do with maybe how I’m not so reserved. And I am because I mean, span, Spaniards are like that, you know, we’re outspoken and like it is pretty open over there.

Yeah, how else that culture has potentially affected me? mean, I’ve been to Spain almost every year of my life since I was a child because my mom wanted me to have a good relationship with my family. She wanted me to be bilingual, which I am. And, I mean, just having that experience of being in Spain for, we would go like, cause my mom is a teacher, we would go for like,

sometimes the entire summer break. just being out there, yeah. I mean, just traveling in general just will keep you open and offer you so many sources of inspiration. My mom’s actually been getting onto me because she really wants me to make like a Spanish themed kind of song. And I have messed with it before.

have tried to make like, I did make like a dubstep, like flamenco infused kind of dubstep track. I tried I tried my hand at it a few times, but I’ll keep I’ll keep going. But she she’s on my ass about it. She’s like, I want to hear I want to hear your flamenco electronic. I’m like, Okay, mom. Okay. Yeah, No, yeah, like

There was a time where was thinking about making a whole EP like that, but it’s a little like flamenco, that kind of music goes really well with house music. Dubstep is a little more difficult. I think it can be done, but that is another thing actually though. I do want to be multifaceted and I do want to explore all genres, well all genres that interest me and there are more than dubstep. And I do want…

Nicole (54:53.967)
to take my project global. So I’ve actually recently been thinking, okay, like how can I play in Spain? Like, because I’m sure you’re familiar with Ibiza. yeah. And just like the party scene is there obviously, but like, you know, it’s a little more catered to house and techno music and reggaeton. Like dubstep and bass music is a bit smaller there. And so recently

Right. And like, just think it would be so cool to get booked out there. And so I’ve been trying to think lately, how I can, you know, make music that’s so authentic to me, but like, that gets me global. You know, yeah.

Jesse Brede
Yeah, it is tricky. I think that, that, that market Europe and it’s in and of itself is, you know, they’re

very insulated and, you might have a couple of crossover is tough, but yeah, I think like someone that I would admire in that regard would, you know, I think they’re coming more from pop and electronic, a bit Sophie Tucker, think they’ve done some really interesting things with their career and who they’ve had remix. So maybe as you finished the CP, you could look at some remixes that might be able to do like a house version or, know, a mid-tempo version of some of these songs.

You know, that, that was kind where I was going with that question about like writing for the stage, because as a DJ, like I love these journey sets where I’m going from one 40 to mid tempo to, know, like a hundred BPM. And then we might go into house and breaks and some of those gaps are hard, you know? And I’m always like, man, I’m gonna attract it. So yeah, I’d be, I’d be excited to hear it. think, you know, again, it’s very authentic to you. So that’d be exciting. I know you gotta, you gotta make mama happy, right?

Nicole
of course. Super important. Super important. Yeah. I definitely want to do that. I want to buy her house in Spain. So I’m going to need this music to go global. Let’s go. Right. Right. No, but yeah, like I, I, I really do want to, I love house music. Like I’m serious. Like I really want to explore all genres and I do kind of feel like I box myself in a little bit. Like,

Nicole (57:19.181)
with the dubstep thing. Just, yeah, no one is putting me in a box. I think it was just mostly me. Like I just, I sit down to create and I’ve just always thought that way, but like, no, I really want to explore.

Jesse Brede
I think Maddie O’Neill has done a good job of starting to broaden her with a mat. She’s got mad house project and just branching out a lot. think I would love for you guys to connect and kind of have a conversation around.

She’s definitely kind of really, I think firing on all cylinders. So wow. Well, this has been absolutely phenomenal. Thanks for sitting down. Do you have any, you want anything, any last words, any last topics you want to chat on?

Nicole
I’m I’m I’m sad it’s coming to an end. Yeah, no, I mean, we’ve covered a lot. I feel like I’ve definitely been able to express, you know, what’s been on my mind with my journey and

progress as an artist and I’m just super thankful for you providing this platform and space for me to do so. I just, yeah, like I hope the people listening can get something out of it. And I just, I guess I want anyone that’s listening to feel welcome to reach out to me because I always like, I’ll talk to anybody as long as you’re being respectful and

I just, yeah, I want to help everyone in their journey and

Jesse Brede
love it. If someone wanted to reach out, just maybe like an Instagram DM or Twitter or something like that.

Nicole
Instagram. Yeah. Instagram is great. I do look through like the requests. I tried to, you know, I’ve also lately, I’ve been trying to spend less and less time on social media because that’s good for my mental health. But yeah, right.

Right. But no, yeah. Instagram DM is great. Like an email, like zenselect.gmail.com. Not afraid to put it out there. Yeah. I would say either one of those two ways.

Jesse Brede
Yeah. That’s awesome. Thank you for being so open and being such a cool part of the community and doing your thing and sharing your story with us. It’s been absolutely great to have you on Nicole. And as things progress, maybe we’ll have you on for another, another, can tell us all the new, new happenings next month.

Jesse Brede (59:43.465)
I would absolutely love that. Thanks you so much. All right. Talk soon.

Nicole
Thank you. All right. Cool.